How to hold your worth when your current results don't prove it

Documenting this here as I feel the fire in my soul right now. First, lets define a few words before diving in.

When I say nervous system, I mean your body's ability to feel safe in uncertainty. Making more money, being more visible online or business growth is uncomfortable to your body. So this about how much unfamiliar territory you can stand in without your body pulling you back to what it knows to be "safe".

When I say capacity (in this context), I mean how long you can hold the tension of knowing your worth, without needing results to prove it. It's the ability to stay solid in yourself when nothing around you is confirming what you know to be true.

Most people have never been told that's the real work. So here it is.

People talk online about nervous system work as if it's a fancy word for meditation, as if it's some spiritual practice where you sit down and you expand your capacity for more, when really, the nervous system work is leadership. It's self-leadership.

Holding your worth when nothing proves it.

It's being able to hold the tension of knowing your self worth, deeply, and doing the work to cultivate that in such a strong way where nobody can fuck with it. So that even if the external world around you, the results around you don't match it, it doesn't phase you.

You don't crumble into overworking because you need to prove yourself. You don't fall into this needy energy and lower your standards working with people you don't want to work with. You don't lower your prices and start changing your whole offer because things aren't showing up.

You know when it's time to adjust or when it's time to hold the tension.

This is the exact work we do together inside embodied, if you're interested go here

The real capacity work.

Nervous system capacity work is many different things. Meditation can be part of that process, it's been a daily practice for me for years.

The real tension here is your relationship with uncertainty, your ability to hold your value, to know your worth, to be able to hold that beyond a level of certainty that makes sense to anybody else around you. And to do it from a place of calmness.

Calmness, so that no matter what is going on around you, you know who you are, you know what you're here to do. You are calm in the way you show up, and even if you feel a sense of irritation, frustration, anger, resentment even, the things haven't gone your way... you still stay calm.

You have this inner certainty that goes beyond the logical mind. And you hold it from a place of calmness.

Why it takes time.

That's what builds your character, your levels of inner certainty, your identity. So that no matter what happens in future, the results that you do generate have been earned by knowing your worth beyond results.

Because if results were instant and you had a big team, a big cash month, a big company, the second those results slip, you'd fall and crumble, because you haven't built the identity underneath.

The reason why things take time is so that you can build the identity that allows you to actually sustainably hold the results that you say that you want without the result being attached to your self worth.

That's the uncomfortable truth nobody wants to talk about.

The real work.

Nervous system work is stretching your capacity for self-leadership when no one else around you is giving you any reason. When nothing else around you is giving you any reason to believe that things are happening, you still show up. You are still visible. You still make offers. You still hold the value of your product. You hold the high price. And you know what you're worth. You hold the standard and nothing can break that.

You can't fuck with a person like that. It's almost scary.

When you've hit that, and you're still in the gap, good... because that's exactly where you're meant to be.

Because on the other side of you relaxing into that, instead of thinking something's wrong with you or with anything that you're doing, the second you can relax into calmness in that moment and know what's happening, that's when everything shifts for you.

Not instantly, but that's how you know that everything is about to shift, not because you need it to, because you've become the person that can hold that level of tension.

Until your next level of capacity gets stretched again, because it will every single time, no matter where you're going. It's what challenges you to see how much tension you can hold so when results arrive you don't crumble.

Are you still able to hold your worth, your standard, when nothing around you proves it?

That's the fucking work. That's the shit that nobody's willing to talk about.