"That's great... but its not for me"
A Letter on Alignment, Self-Knowing & Letting Go of the Performer
If you would prefer to listen you can do so below:
Welcome, Jordan here.
One of the most powerful things that you can say to yourself, as you observe the world around you, advice or any form of content that you consume, is to say to yourself:
That’s great, but it’s not for me.
There’s something about understanding how you're uniquely wired, and how your unique pathway to success is going to look different than somebody else's. Now, consciously, you may already know that.
But it’s very easy to see someone who is doing well in a certain area, and to automatically feel that if you were to just do the same thing, if you had the strategy that they were executing on, then you would achieve the same level of success.
But what’s funny is that the more I've understood more about my own self, and how I'm uniquely wired and that some things are for me, and some things are not for me… the more I've been able to find a sweet spot of where I'm most aligned, fulfilled, passionate about what I do, and achieving the things I want to achieve along the way
Falling Into (and Emerging From) the Personal Development Rabbit Hole
I fell down the rabbit hole of personal development and business like many people do, when I started my business journey I was transitioning from freelancer to agency owner, and then from agency owner to really what I do today, which has many different names.
And along the way, especially earlier in my journey, I seeked out advice from others. I watched many videos, content, and I observed what was going on around me.
Sometimes I modelled.
Sometimes I found something I really liked and tried to do it for myself.
Sometimes I thought I had to be somebody else.
And what I found was that the more I tried to be something other than I am or how I'm meant to show up, the more resistance I created in my life... my mind was confused.
It was only when I started to understand more about myself, to discover what it truly meant to be me (which is a journey I'm still discovering…)
was where I began to find what is right for me. And usually, it's the thing that is most exciting, the most simple, and brings the biggest results with a greater sense of ease.
The most challenging part about it has actually been allowing it to be easy. Allowing it to be simple.
A Morning With the "Performer"
For the last number of months and weeks, I've been uncovering the old patterns that have come to the surface over the last number of years, which I call the performer in me.
The performer in me was the part of me previously who needed to be like other people. Who chased results or achievements to feel good, to feel valued, to feel worthy.
The performer in me would look outwards to find answers to some of the deeper questions and to find someone to tell him who he was.
I didn't know any better. But over the last year, specifically, I've gone deep into the process of letting that identity go.
And what has emerged on the other side has been beautiful, profound, and exciting. I'm going to be sharing more about that as 2026 unfolds.
The reason I mention this is because the performer in me is something I still speak with on a day-to-day basis.
We had a conversation this morning, and we went back and forth on an idea.
Let me lay it out for you as to how this kind of plays out and what it looks like.
The Slow Morning vs. The Urgency to Do
When I wake up in the morning, I know that the most aligned version of my morning that gives me the greatest sense of focus and peace, which is really what I'm optimising for
It's to have a slow morning.
A morning where I'm not looking at the clock. I do some movement, some meditation, maybe listen to some music.
And when it feels right, I lean into potentially doing something, like recording or writing.
But the performer in me wants to "do" immediately. He wants to go to the computer immediately. He wants to start working on something immediately.
Why is this?
He wants to do something because if he does something, he'll feel like he's moving forward.
And if he's not doing something, he'll feel like he's not moving forward.
And that's an uncomfortable feeling.
That’s one aspect of the performer in me.
It's not about doing or not doing... it's the emotion behind it that I'm paying attention to.
So this morning, as I observed the performer in me and how that pull "to do" came through, I simply acknowledged it.
I sat with it.
Instead, we had a slow morning. But I invited the performer to sit with us in meditation.
My intention was to simply sit with this part of myself that feels the "need to always do" to feel worthy.
And as we sat together in meditation, listened to some music and had a slow morning together, he became more and more relaxed.
I was aware that the more I invited him in and allowed him to just be there with me, the more I accepted him.
He remembered that he doesn't need to constantly do... to feel worthy of success.
The Integration Process
So the integration process sharing with you here is how I go about sitting with these parts of myself that are tied to an old identity.
I call this sitting with my "shadow"
A version of me that I just don't want to embody anymore.
And instead, I want to lean more into who I really am.
And that's a process. It's a journey to get to know yourself.
What I do know about myself is that I like to take things slow.
I like to be very intentional.
I like my life to be peaceful.
And I like to feel that peace within me because it brings clarity.
And to be able to do that, it means leaning into the uncomfortable emotions that I experience in those moments where there's one part of me pulling me one way and the other part of me pulling another way.
Sitting with those emotions, allowing them to flow through me instead of hold on to me.
How I like to see emotions is simply just energy in motion.
And when we don't let energy move, it gets blocked, gets stuck.
And when it gets stuck, we feel heavy.
And we do that enough times throughout our life, we start to walk around with a bag on our back that gets heavier and heavier and heavier.
And we wonder why we can't move forward, why we always feel drained or why we always feel like we're not fully alive or connected to life.
The Essence of My Work
One primary aspect of what I help people do, is for clients to get to know themselves and unlock what it truly means for them to be living their version of success, not somebody else's.
The most resistance I faced was when I was being more of the performer, because that's who I thought I needed to be, to be successful.
Instead, the more I leaned into who I really am, the more simple life became.
I walk that path daily but that doesn't mean I don't get pulled off track every so often.
To explore working together 1-1 I have a Christmas offering available. go deeper below
Naps Are Productive
After I sat down on my computer today after just having a slow morning, there were a couple things I was working on.
I was putting together a style and taste board for where I want to take my brand in business.
I love to create Pinterest boards, they get me inspired.
I like the visuals and the colours.
So I created one of those and I went through some material in relation to communication.
And then, you know what?
I got really tired.
And in that moment, the performer came back.
He was like;
No, we got to push through. There's something we got to create. We got to go do something here.
But again, I observed this. I sat with him.
And I was like, hey, man.
We don't need to do this right now. I genuinely feel like my body needs some rest for whatever reason... I don't need to have a reason.
So we went outside, spent some time in the grass. And then I came inside and I took a nap.
You can now call me a productivity guru.
An “Unproductive Day” and Why It Was Perfect
Now, most people by the standards of the culture we live in today would say that this is an incredibly unproductive day.
But I feel amazing. I feel magnetic. I feel well rested.
I feel excited for the rest of the day.
And when I woke up from the nap, I had a spark of inspiration and creativity that came through... that led me to recording and writing this for you today.
Now the old version of me would have tried to force himself to create something, even if the idea wasn't there, because he felt like he needed to create something in order to be enough.
But that’s all the force energy, the push energy, the needing things to be a certain way energy that I'm letting go of.
What "Embodiment" Really Is
For me, this is what embodiment looks like.
Embodiment is making a choice of who I want to become in the moment and collapsing the time between now and that future version of myself by making new choices.
And really the simple key to all of this is just awareness.
Becoming aware of when you're being your version of the "performer"
I've discovered over this last couple of years and specifically over the last couple of weeks is that the more I lean into and live by how I am uniquely wired, the more fulfilled, happy, joyful, successful my life is. The more abundant it is. The more I connect with the right people at the right times.
And the most challenging thing for me has actually been allowing it to be that easy.
Because the performer in me wants to come back, jump in, and make things harder (for no reason)
He believed everything had to be hard.
I'm not here to reject that part of myself.
I'm here to learn to accept him, see him for who he is, and love him.
Because we're in this together.
As we walk this path and continue this journey, he’ll always be there.
It's just the version of me that I'm stepping into right now will become louder, clearer.
And that will be its own process of unfolding.
One Question for You
If there was one thing that you could ask yourself today, it's this:
Am I living in alignment with how I am uniquely wired?
Or am I forcing myself to be somebody that I'm not?
And even if nothing comes to you straight away, that's okay.
Even just opening up with that question allows for possibilities to flow to you.
Thank you for being here, I will see you in the next one.
Member discussion