"Reparenting Yourself" 6 Steps To Unlock Your Hidden Door Success

If you find yourself feeling "heavy", like everything is a grind, like you're chasing success, chasing a relationship or constantly "working" yet never arriving...

This will be powerful for you.

This is the unlock that allows you to step out of that "heaviness" and into a whole new experience of life where the right resources, people and opportunities just come to you.

What Reparenting Yourself Really Means

Reparenting yourself is the process of becoming your own mother and father (that may sound strange (stick with me)

This is not out of resentment to your parents, or trying to fix the past, but because if you experienced emotional neglect (like many children do, me included) this is now you're time to transform yourself from the inside out and stop blocking your own success.

The lens in which we're going to view this is mastering your own "self-dialogue"

"self-dialogue" is the internal chatter that either empowers and encourages you or tells you're "not enough" or "too much"

More often than not a limiting self dialogue can lead to overthinking, mental looping, procrastination, putting limits on your ability to be successful or trying to prove yourself to others in the hopes of being recognised.

None of this is wrong it's more about learning to view the voice as a part of yourself that wants to be acknowledge and seen... by you.

When you master your self-dialogue, you gain the ability to shift old memories, perspectives, and subconscious beliefs that have been shaping your life without you realising it.

Most of the limits we face in life whether it's financially, in success, finding connection in love or what we believe we're capable of can often be traced back to perspectives we formed through our childhood experiences.

We internalised a self-dialogue that led to seeing ourselves and the world in a limiting way.

"Reparenting yourself" is breaking through those limits and learning to access your subconscious in a way where you become the parent you never had, the mother that nurtures you and the father that guides you.

• It’s giving yourself what you needed but didn’t receive
• It’s rewriting the internal scripts that kept you small
• It’s choosing a new inner authority to lead yourself forward

Reparenting yourself is one components of creating your own success in life from the inside out.

I've seen the most incredible transformations from the clients I've worked by just focusing on this alone.

It's also been a key component of my own journey as well, which is why I love talking about it.

My Inner Child Wouldn't Let Me Be Successful

When I started my first business I was a freelancer providing advertising and marketing services to local businesses. I eventually transitioning into having a small remote agency with a small team of contractors to support bigger projects and bigger income goals.

From day one I was working 16 hours days chasing my next target... usually at the expense of my mental health.

I would hit a goal and immediately just move to the next target.

2 years in everything looked good on the surface, but inside I felt something boiling underneath the surface.

I kept hitting a wall with my income and to be honest I wasn't really enjoying my work anymore.

I was exploring topics like "finding your purpose" and going down "personal development" rabbit holes to understand more about myself in my spare time.

The previous months I was working with a coach in the areas of "Identity formation" and "NLP" where I began to connect the dots from my childhood experiences and my current behaviours.

One evening during summer in Spain, I had a consulting call with a client... but I had to finish early, it felt like the 16 hour days were catching up to me.

I ended the call early because I was close to tears for no apparent reason. All I knew was that I just felt an internal "heaviness" I couldn't name.

Unable to process my emotions at the time, my mind went "looking" for answers.

I didn't find any so I took a walk but the feeling didn't go away.

The next day was a Saturday. I woke up, and had breakfast but still felt this anchor around my neck dragging me down.

I was taking another course from a Life Coach at the time related to re-discovering my life purpose, as you can imagine this is a broad topic and many subtopics were covered.

One day the coach shared the idea that "your pain is your greatest purpose"

my eyes began to water as I heard those words.... and soon I crumbled.

That moment sent me a message I'll never forget.. (even though I had no idea what it meant)

A glimpse of my childhood came to mind, memories of neglect, pain and anger.

Not only did I realise the marketing agency was the wrong work for me...

but the reason I couldn't find the work I really wanted to do was because I was ignoring the unprocessed emotional pain that I kept running from.

In hindsight I realised how much this emotional weight was blocking my sense of clarity on what was right for me.

Not only that but the overworking, the "heaviness" and the deep desire to achieve outcomes in the hopes that people would see me as successful was the little boy within me screaming for my attention.

I just didn't understand that at the time.

so I went on a journey of unravelling those emotions over the coming years.

Fast forward to the present day I love my business, I make great money doing it, I'm surrounded by incredible friends, I'm deeply fulfilled and I wake up feeling blessed to be alive.

It may not look "perfect" to others but to me it's a closer representation what it's like to live my way.

This shift happened because I stopped running from myself.

I've learned to reparent myself in a way that has benefited my life beyond words.

Here, I'm sharing one lens through which I view this journey to help you do the same.

The Inner Child Within

If you think about a child for a second... they're full of joy, wonder, curiosity for life, the live in a sense of "flow"

They don't care what anybody thinks of them, they just want to have fun.

We tend lose that as we get older, we think that we have to “be an adult” which mens less fun, more "seriousness"

I get it, often times life can bring us down, breakups, finding purpose, finding community, or even just paying the bills

But what if THAT IS the main reason "fun" should be at the forefront of our minds?

I'm not saying live life as a child and ignore responsibility

I'm saying we can rediscover the child-like wonder we had growing up.

When I was working 16 hour days in a business I didn't enjoy, I wasn't having fun. I was living in obligation.

To get out of obligation and into fun, I had to reconnect with the inner child within me.

Understanding the Nature of Triggers

How do we start the process? great question.

We find a gateway.

Triggers, are that gateway.

An emotional trigger is an emotional outburst.

A moment where a strong emotional reaction rises up in you faster than your conscious mind can process.

It’s that sudden hit of fear, shame, comparison, guilt, frustration, or sadness that feels bigger than the moment itself.

In my story above I shared two "triggers"

1) The trigger of feeling "heavy" and finishing my call early

2) The trigger that brought the outburst of tears that arrived watching that video.

I just didn't know what I know now so I was lost in my mind trying to "logically solve the problem"

The logical mind cannot "solve" an emotion. An Emotion just wants to be felt.

We can often times think we need to "solve it" to avoid the discomfort of "feeling it"

Lets apply this to an everyday scenario.

Imagine you’re scrolling on your phone and you see someone your age who just bought a new house, has a big friend group, or is doing really well in their work.

Right away, you feel a tight feeling in your chest. Your stomach drops.

You think, “Why am I not there yet? What’s wrong with me?”

That sudden emotional outburst... is an emotional trigger.

Oftentimes it's the inner child, inner teenager, or younger part of you that holds a belief that makes you feel "triggered" in the moment.

A trigger (where you feel that reactive emotional response) enforces a feeling of lack, fear, guilt, apathy, shame, or other heavy dense emotion.

This feeling of lack is not the enemy.

It’s the opportunity.

It's pointing you towards a belief system thats not serving you anymore

The opportunity is to choose a new story, a new perspective, a new belief in that moment.

But instead, we often chase instant gratification from the lens of "I want to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling"

Instead reparenting yourself in that moment is recognising:

The inner child, inner teenager, or younger you feeling not enough, unseen, undervalued, unable to express, unfulfilled, unable to be authentic... which makes you feel that trigger in the moment.

The invitation is to ask... what belief an I holding right now thats causing me to feel this way?

To examine beliefs lets go deeper into the subconscious.

Reparenting Yourself & Rewiring the Subconscious For New Results

The subconscious is not just the mind, it's both belief and energy.

• Belief (B): The thought or story you hold about something
• Emotion/Energy (E): The suppressed emotion that holds the belief in place
• Nervous System (N): The body-level safety mechanism that locks the subconscious pattern in

Reprogramming your subconscious behaviour system requires working on all three.

• The daily trigger points you to the Belief (B) under the surface. It shows you were you're running a belief thats not serving you. There's also tools you can use to uncover subconscious blocks.
• The Belief (B) is connected to a suppressed Emotion (E) to let go of the Energy (E) its best to feel it fully without judgement
• This patterns the Nervous System (N) to be safe without the old limiting belief and opens up space for a new empowering belief to replace it

Example: The Comparison Trigger

You see someone online doing well in the same field. You compare yourself and feel a sense of frustration because things aren't clicking for you right now.

Here’s what could be happening beneath the surface (use if useful)

• You may be tying your self-worth to external outcomes
• You may be believing your value is based on what you achieve
• The comparison may trigger beliefs you hold:
  • “I am not enough unless I achieve more”
  • "Someone else doing well means there's less success for me"
  • "I'm running out of time to achieve my goals"
• The emotion attached may be guilt, shame, fear, or inadequacy.
• Your nervous system gets activated and goes into "reactive mode"

Through my lens...

This moment has nothing to do with the other person. It is reality mirroring your feeling of fear back to you, asking you to let it go so you can grow into who you're meant to be.

This is how I'd approach it in 6 Reparenting Steps:

1. Observe: Catch myself in the moment and say to myself "I'm observing a feeling arising in me that makes me want to be reactive". This helps you stop identifying with the feeling as "you", it's just a feeling.
2. Name: Next I'd ask myself what belief this might be tied to thats showing me it wants to be let go. This could be related to self worth or something specific.
3. Own: I would remind myself that this has nothing to do with the other person, it's simply a mirror for my internal state. As hard as it may be I'd thank this person for showing me a part of myself I'm yet to acknowledge.
4. Feel: Next, I'd pause and allow myself to feel the emotion I noticed (even if I didn't understand it) without distracting myself
5. Inquire: Then, I'd ask myself "what is this trigger telling me about myself?" or "what about this person or moment caused me to feel this way". This is where I'd get curious about the root and how I can do something about it.

• Example: If I was triggered by someone else's success, then I'd examine where in my life am I not letting myself be great? or where in my life am I keeping myself small because I'm afraid to be seen?

6. Decide: Based on the old belief I was telling myself, whats the opposite belief I can now decide to invest my energy into believing instead? it could be “I decide I’m no longer going to let someone else’s life determine how I feel about myself". If the old belief arises in future to test you, you'll remember its not the truth anymore because it's been made conscious.
7. Move: What am I now going to change about my behaviour or habits to allow myself to see the lesson in this trigger and transcend it. This could be spending less time on social media and spending more time creating.

The Subconscious Is About Safety

A belief may have protected you earlier in life, but now it keeps you stuck.

Following this process is reparenting yourself in real time.

You're creating a new level of Safety in your body.

Expanding your comfort zone = expanding your zone of safety = expanding your nervous system’s resilience in lifes uncertainty.

Speaking to Your Inner Child

In these moments you're speaking directly to the younger you who thinks they need to:

• prove themselves
• perform
• achieve to be worthy
• react to everything
• protect you from being hurt

You’re telling them:
“You don’t have to do this anymore. You can relax. I’ve got us now.”

It doesn’t have to be complicated, just consistent and intentional.

You're building a relationship with a part of yourself that may have never been acknowledged. Treat that relationship with love and it will be one that yields the most fruit in your life.

This is Reparenting 101.

Want to Go Deeper?

Bonus Material: You can watch the training video related to this post below "how to reparent yourself to experience deep fulfilment"

I appreciate Your Time & Attention

Jordan.